Stag Night of the Dead (2010)

"OK ramblers, fuck rambling, let's get rolling"


As a mysterious plague sweeps the nation, the government seeks to contain the pandemic. Holding the Zombie creatures in one place, where they're put to good use.

It's Dean's stag do, although he's got things to organise and pick up before the big wedding, his friends have other ideas. The shenanigans get underway at a local pub with a stripper, but soon move on to a surprise location for most of the lads.

Thinking that the activity is merely paintball, they enter an airbase that's under the watch of armed guards. After a briefing from Mr. Big and Mr. Ree, the lads find out that this is no normal paintball facility. Rather this is Zomball, with real zombies!


Each armed with a P90 submachine gun that's been modified to discharge electricity, much like a stun gun but a hell of a lot more lethal, all the lads get in the mood for a fun afternoon of shooting zombies.

Out in the designated area the stags get to work taking down a horde of undead. In between games, they have a break while the guns are put on charge. But as boys will be boys, one of them strolls off to a restricted area and sets off a chain of events that put them all in danger.

The boys, with the stripper in tow, are now having to deal with more than they can handle, all while the man behind the operation, Mr. Ree, sits in the safety of his office and watches the events unfold on the screens in front of him.

With the threat of being turned into a zombie or worse, certain feelings come out and secrets are exposed which divides the group of friends. Will Dean make it to the wedding? Will there still be a wedding if he does get out alive? With what started out as a laugh, the situation gets completely out of control, and now the day have become a stag night from hell!

"Ain't these the guns from Stargate?"

The first thing I'll point out, this is a low budget zombie comedy B movie from the UK. It's nothing more than a bit of harmless fun or "popcorn horror".

The SFX are pretty standard with a good amount of blood and gore that would keep most gore whores happy. But what stood out for me was the story. The normal idea of paintball taken to another level with the use of live bait, or in this case the undead, and instead of boring old paint, we have a high dosage of electricity. The perfect stag do for zombie fans!

The acting is never gonna be award winning, but most the cast still delivered the script well enough to make it more than bearable. The character development was good. Each person had a real enough back story and a believable personality, such as, there's always the idiot of the group, the level headed one, the womaniser, the not quite right in the head friend, etc. plus the eye candy.

The humour is typical of the average English bloke. Whether this passes over to countries outside the UK, but I've had a group of mates not too dissimilar from those in the film so I found it easy to relate to, which always helps.

With a few twists, turns and surprises, the movie actually kept me entertained and there was a running joke through the movie that made me chuckle every time it was mentioned. It ended quite perfectly too. That said, not everyone will feel the same as me. Remember this though, there's a lot of low budget horror films out there that try to be serious and fail miserably. OK, so it's no Doghouse (2009), but if you approach it as being a break from all the serious stuff and want a laugh, with a touch of internal organs, then it's worth giving a go.

I think Neil Jones did a decent job with his debut feature, especially the writing. I say give him a bigger budget and bigger named actors and let's see what he can do!

If just for the effort alone, Stag Night of the Dead gets 6/10

Director & Writer - Neil Jones

The Cast -
Sebastian Street as Dean
Sophie Lovell Anderson as Candy
Joe Rainbow as Ronny
Bruce Lawrence as Mark
Mike Busson as Number 48
James G. Fain as TC
Rez Kempton as Sanjay
Doug Grant as Gordon
Jeff Rudom as Mr. Ree
Brian Wheeler as Mr. Big

Check out the trailer below...

The Tall Man (2012)

In a small ex-mining town in Washington, there's a deep and on going problem. The town's children have been going missing for a number of years. The locals believe the children are being abducting my a mysterious entity only known as The Tall Man.

Julia Dunning, a nurse and widow, who's husband was the town's doctor, helps out with the town folk when needed. She also plays second mum to a young girl called Jenny.

Besides her life as a nurse, Julia has a son, David, and a nanny, Christine, waiting for her at home. After dinner together, David is put to bed and the two girls have a cheeky drink.

After heading up stairs to her bedroom a little drunk, Julia is soon disturbed by the radio down stairs, as it's turned on really loud. Headed to see what's going on, Julia realises that David is being abducted.

She is now in a chase to save David from what appears to be The Tall Man. She attempts to hang onto the back of the van David is being taken away in, but falls off. As the van stops, she tries to fight back against the dark figure but ends up in the back off the van. She's tied up, but manages to free herself and once again attacks the antagonist, which causes the van to turn over. The enigmatic character escapes with the boy, leaving Julia for dead.

The events that follow leaves Julia in a position of compromise as the town folk seem to have a hidden agenda. Now Lt. Dodd is on the case, but will he get to the bottom of all the mystery surrounding The Tall Man and the missing children?

"Something bad had come to destroy our town"

Let's get this out of the way - The Tall Man has noting to do with the character and main antagonist of the Phantasm series of horror films. Now, back to this Tall Man...

The first thing that stands out about this movie is the cast. Of course we have the leading lady, Jessica Biel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Blade: Trinity), Jodelle Ferland (Silent Hill, Case 39), Stephen McHattie (300, Pontypool), William B. Davis (The X Files) and Samantha Ferris (Supernatural). They're brought together perfectly by Martyrs (2008) director Pascal Laugier.

As it turned out, the film really surprised me. Don't be fooled by the simple notion that this is a "boogeyman taking kids in the night" kind of movie. It's far from it. It delivers a major twist just under an hour in, one that was a little predictable, but only right at that point. Yet again it takes another turn towards the end of the movie. One that you can see coming, but again, the script delivers it that well, you still feels like you didn't really know.

From the acting to the direction to the script, my attention was kept throughout. And with it's some what controversial message, it leaves you thinking about the content of movie and how it has real world meaning. Even though this is only a horror thriller and the scares are limited, it's easy to connect to the characters and get more involved with the story, making it a film worth watching for horror and non-horror fans a like.

The Tall Man gets 7.5/10

Director & Writer - Pascal Laugier

The Cast -
Jessica Biel as Julia Dunning
Jodelle Ferland as Jenny
Stephen McHattie as Lt. Dodd
Jakob Davies / Kyle Harrison Breitkopf as David
William B. Davis as Sheriff Chestnut
Samantha Ferris as Tracy
Eve Harlow as Christine

Check out the trailer below...

[REC]³ Génesis (2012)

It's a bright sunny day for Clara and Koldo's wedding. Koldo's cousin Adrián is recording the event on his video camera. After the ceremony he's outside the church talking to guests and comes across his uncle, who's not at his best, as he got bit by a dog earlier that morning at a veterinary centre. Undeterred by the wound on his hand, the uncle and everybody else head to the reception where the party begins.

As Adrián moves around the hussle and bussle of the mingling guests, he bumps into Atún, who's the professional camera man hired to record the spacial day. Atún recruits Adrián in helping capture every that's going on during the wedding reception.

After the speeches, the happy couple finally get a moment alone and Clara tries to tell her new husband something, but Koldo is pulled away as the entertainment is in full swing.

Everybody is enjoying themselves and the newly weds couldn't be happier. Atún and Adrián are getting some great footage. While outside, Adrián decides to interview the children's entertainer. They get interrupted by Adrián's uncle, as he starts vomiting. Putting it down to him being drunk, they ignore him, even though he looks worse for wear.

Shortly after, the seemingly drink uncle heads inside the building and sits on a balcony overlooking the ballroom. He then falls onto the floor below in full view of everyone. His wife approaches to help him up but he awakens and bites a chunk out of her neck and then proceeds to puke all over another guest. What follows next can only be described as all fucking hell breaking lose! Suddenly more guests are infected with the demonic virus and burst onto the dance floor, attacking other guests. People are fleeing for their lives and in all the madness, Clara and Koldo are separated.

Everyone is in a fight for survival, so now Bride and Groom have to find their way back to each other risking life and limb and the threat of attack from friends and family. With possessed zombies everywhere and the living becoming fewer in numbers, they each cling on to the hope that the other is still OK. In the fight to find one another, they both have to arm up and kick some ass. But will they be reunited before it's too late and will they get out alive?

"MUM?"

The movie does cross over with [REC]:
The dog that's mentioned in the first film is the same dog at the vet that the uncle is bitten by and there's a scene where Koldo is in a CCTV control room with a TV on in the background, a news report regarding the quarantine of an apartment block in central Barcelona is shown, revealing that the events of this film are happening concurrently with the events of the first film. And of course the initial demonic infection is the same one as spread by the young girl from the original film.

This horror sequel was one of my most anticipated movies of 2012. Did it disappoint? NO!
Is it as good as the first two films? It's not as good as the first one but it's on par with, if not slightly better than the second. The real difference with the third instalment is that it starts off in the "found footage" manner, with shaky hand held cameras. It also switches between security camera footage, but the majority of the movie is shot normally.

The script is fun, well constructed, delivered by the cast well and the dialogue flows with the gory action. It offers the same quality as the first two films, but is it's own film, in it's own right.

[REC]³ Génesis gets 8/10
 
Director - Paco Plaza
Writers - Paco Plaza & Luiso Berdejo

The Cast -
Leticia Dolera as Clara
Diego Martín as Koldo
Javier Botet as Niña Medeiros
Àlex Monner as Adrián
Claire Baschet as Natalie
Ismael Martínez as Rafa
Borja Glez. Santaolalla as Atún
Carla Nieto as Rebeca Viñas
Ana Isabel Velásquez as Wendy
Mireia Ros as Menchu
Xavier Ruano as Cura
Blai Llopis as Quiquín
Paco Moreno as Charlie

Check out the trailer below...

Suck (2009)

As part of disturbingfilms.com's Vampire Week 2012, which runs from July 22 - 28, I'll be reviewing 8 Vampire movies. Yes, that's right, EIGHT, this is my favourite sub-genre! This is the eighth film...

"Let me tell you what I've learnt on my many many travels. Always use a condom and never trust a god damn vampire"

Joey is the lead singer of a band called The Winners. A struggling rock band that's on the road through Canada and the USA with barely a hope for success or fame. The band's manager Jeff doesn't make matters any better due the fact he's completely useless!

At a gig in the Montreal club, the band's performance is watched by a very creepy and scary looking dude. When their set is over, the band's bassist, Jennifer, gets friendly with the scary dude and the bartender tries to give Joey some words of wisdom.

With all the gear packed in the back of the hearse they drive, they're ready to get some sleep, but Jennifer decides to stay out with the scary dude, which doesn't sit well with Joey.

The next evening, the band members, Joey, Tyler, Sam and the roadie Hugo are setting up without any sign of Jennifer. Just as they're about to start the performance without her, she turns up, ready to play, but with something very different about her.

It doesn't take long for the rest of the band to realise that Jennifer is now a vampire, obviously turned by the scary dude from the Montreal club. Hugo knew first though as he's been helping to hide the bodies that Jennifer has drained of blood.

The band's success starts to pick up due to Jennifer's newly found powers and after they stop to cut a new single, they start getting more recognition with the single being played on the radio. So eventually, one by one, the boys all get turned by Jennifer. All except poor old Hugo, as he's still on clean up duty!

While all this is going on, Eddie Van Helsig is hot on their trail, a vampire hunter with a plan for revenge. He's after the scary dude, Queeny, who turned Jennifer. So to get to him, Eddie tracks the band's movements across America. The band become bigger than they imagined, but is the price of success worth all the blood and dead bodies in the end? Doubts start to creep in and as Eddie Van Helsig catches up with them he offers a way out, but only with their help.

"I can explain.....I have a problem"

Rob Stefaniuk manages to make the whole thing work, writing, directing and playing the part of Joey Winner. Jessica Paré plays the two sides of her character well, the plain normal Jennifer and then the beautifully mesmerising vampire Jennifer with a psychotic twist. The legendary Malcolm McDowell's (A Clockwork Orange (1971), Halloween (2007)) character gives the obvious nod to Bram Stoker's Professor Abraham Van Helsing, along Chris Ratz' Hugo which gives reference to Renfield (Dracula's lunatic slave). It even has edited footage of McDowell from O Lucky Man! (1973) in a flashback scene.

In fact, the whole movie is filled with little moments making reference to other movies and musicians. For example: A shot of the band crossing the street is an homage to The Beatles "Abbey Road." Another shot of the band using a Union Jack flag as a blanket is based on The Who's "The Kids Are Alright." In the border station, the first shot is a nod to Bruce Springsteen's "Born In The USA" and Suck's Rockin' Roger is a take-off of Gremlins' Rockin' Ricky Rialto.

This rock and roll vampire comedy has some cool cameos from some big names, such as Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Moby, Henry Rollins and even Alice Cooper's daughter, Calico Cooper. Then there's Dimitri Coats (Queeny), lead singer of Burning Brides, who have toured with the likes of The White Stripes, Queens of the Stone Age, Mastodon, Audioslave and Marilyn Manson.

The movie is all round good fun with some old ideas given a frash original twist. It has a pretty damn cool soundtrack and lots of blood splashing around to keep you entertained throughout. A must watch for fans of the genre.

Suck gets 7/10

Director & Writer - Rob Stefaniuk

The Cast -
Rob Stefaniuk as Joey Winner
Jessica Paré as Jennifer
Paul Anthony as Tyler
Mike Lobel as Sam
Chris Ratz as Hugo
Dave Foley as Jeff
Malcolm McDowell as Eddie Van Helsig
Iggy Pop as Victor
Alice Cooper as Bartender
Moby as Beef
Henry Rollins as Rockin' Roger
Dimitri Coats as Queeny

Check out this director's cut trailer below, that doubles as the Burning Brides 'Flesh And Bone' music video...

John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)

As part of disturbingfilms.com's Vampire Week 2012, which runs from July 22 - 28, I'll be reviewing 8 Vampire movies. Yes, that's right, EIGHT, this is my favourite sub-genre! This is the seventh film...

"You ever seen a vampire? .....Well first of all, they're not romantic. Its not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he's suckin' the blood outta your neck"

Meet Jack, a brash, loud, foul mouthed, no nonsense talking or taker of nonsense, shit kicking fucking badass of all badass vampire hunters!

He leads a, Vatican sponsored, small army of hunters from town to town, tracking vampires and their master's (creator) movements in order to efficiently slay them. A rag tag group, but non the less, a group of hard working vamp killers loyal to their leader. Only hunting in daylight, armed to the eye balls they slowly approach a derelict building. One by one they enter. All except Montoya and Father Giovanni.

Jack is armed with a crossbow, the arrows are attached to a steel cable, the steel cable is attached to a winch, the winch is attached to a jeep. When Jack tags a vampire, Montoya reels them out into the sunlight and the priest says a prayer. Simple!

As they clear the vamp nest, it starts to get dark and there's no no sign of the master. So they all head to a motel, where the party begins with beer and hookers. But drunken laughter soon turns to screams of terror! The master of the nest the team hit earlier decides to crash the party after seducing and biting one the call girls. The whole team of hunters is nearly wiped out, all that's left is Jack, Montoya and the bitten call girl, Katrina.

After their escape, Jack and Montoya split up. Jack heads to headquarters while Montoya takes Katrina to see if they can track the master's movements, as Katrina is now telepathically linked due to the master's bite. When Jack gets to HQ, he's met by Cardinal Alba, who has more bad news. The master vampire who attacked his team is no ordinary vamp, but is in fact, the 600 year old Valek, the first vampire in creation and formerly a priest of the catholic church.

Valek is on a mission to find the Berziers Black Cross, which was an ancient artifact that was used long ago by priests during exorcism rituals and were used to remove demons that were believed to possess human forms. The cross was once used on the priest Valek who was believed to have been overcome by demons but the exorcism ritual was cut short which resulted in Valek being forever changed. This brought about the creation of the very first vampire. He now intends to use it to complete another ritual, which would allow him to walk in daylight and make him almost unstoppable.

Jack is ordered to regroup and build another team with Father Adam Guiteau, but after they leave Jack is having non of it and makes plans to meet up with Montoya and track Valek's foot steps using Katrina's new found skills. Hopefully finding the the Black Cross before Valek does, they can stop the ritual from even happening. If not, then they'll have to take out another nest of vamps and Valek, all before the next time the sun goes down.

As things don't quite go the plan, and the sun starts to set and Valek has a surprise up his sleeve. A surprise that involves Jack and Cardinal Alba. In the mean time Montoya and Katrina get a little closer, but Montoya and Father Guiteau still have a job to do as they try to stop Valek before it's too late.

"Let me ask you a question. When you were stabbing that vampire in there...did you get a little wood?"

It's brutal, it's bloody and it's got some of the best lines ever in a vampire movie! Most of which are delivered by James Woods (Videodrome). The movie got banned in the UK for around 6 months, before being released on video, yes video, remember those things?! It got banned for "blamming the catholic church" for the creation of vampires.

Woods gives his typical performance of brutal chaotic mayhem when playing, the almost anti-hero, Jack Crow, which is complemented by Thomas Ian Griffith's performance as the cool, calm, collected but vicious Valek.

Woods really steals the show but that's no reflection on the rest of the cast, Daniel Baldwin and Sheryl Lee (Twin Peaks) give believeable performences, Tim Guinee's plays the inexperienced priest with precision and Griffith's Valek is the perfect villain. Everybody else falls into place as they should.

With a solid story and even better direction, this vampire horror, with a western feel to it, is one of my favourite films of the genre. In my humble opinion, I think this is up there with Halloween (1978) and The Thing (1982), as one of Carpenter's best films.

Vampires gets 9/10

Director - John Carpenter
Writers - John Steakley (novel) & Don Jakoby (screenplay)

The Cast -
James Woods as Jack Crow
Daniel Baldwin as Anthony Montoya
Sheryl Lee as Katrina
Thomas Ian Griffith as Jan Valek
Maximilian Schell as Cardinal Alba
Tim Guinee as Father Adam Guiteau
Gregory Sierra as Father Giovanni
Mark Boone Junior as Catlin
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as David Deyo
Thomas Rosales, Jr. as Ortega

Check out the trailer below...

Stake Land (2010)

As part of disturbingfilms.com's Vampire Week 2012, which runs from July 22 - 28, I'll be reviewing 8 Vampire movies. Yes, that's right, EIGHT, this is my favourite sub-genre! This is the sixth film...


"Waiting for the messiah but he never came, death came instead and it came with teeth"

Set in a post apocalyptic USA, the country is in a state of economic and political disaster due to a vampire epidemic that has swept across what is left of the nation's abandoned towns and cities.

The story follows Martin, a teenage boy who's family is slaughtered by a single vampire. He is saved by a death dealing, lone vampire hunter simply known as Mister.

Under the protection and care of Mister, Martin is taught how to defend himself and kill vampires as they travel across the country.

Heading north to Canada, where "New Eden" awaits, the two of them fight off vampires, pick up more people looking for safety and have trouble with a group of religious extremists known as The Brotherhood.

The vamps aren't the typical bloodsuckers we see in most movies. Rather, they are non thinking, non talking, almost zombie like, ravenous creatures acting in blind blood lust, directed only by their animalistic instincts. The movie very much has the feel of Zombieland (2009), but the big difference, besides the vampires, is the very harrowing story.

The film has it's jumpy parts and disturbing moments. In the first scene we see a vamp feeding on a baby and when I told my wife I was watching the film again, that was the first thing she mentioned as it still creeps her out to this day!

Nick Damici plays the hardened badaas hunter, Mister, in typical fashion - very few words but what he says is worth listening to and when he kicks ass he kicks it permanently. Connor Paolo's performance as Martin is a coming of age story in it's own right. He also narrates during the movie.

And with the "Scream Queen" Danielle Harris, Kelly McGillis and Sean Nelson rounding up the main supporting cast, you get attached and involved with each roll, which is testament to the solid writing and directing. Michael Cerveris as the nut job cult leader Jebedia, gives us another enemy within the film, providing more than just the vampires to fear.

"There's nothing to be done about it but kill that thing. Can you shoot?"

The film is actually one of my top horror movies of 2011 and with a good mix of drama, action and blood, I highly recommend watching it.

Stake Land gets 9/10

Director - Jim Mickle
Writers - Nick Damici & Jim Mickle

The Cast -
Connor Paolo as Martin
Nick Damici as Mister
Danielle Harris as Belle
Kelly McGillis as Sister
Sean Nelson as Willie
Michael Cerveris as Jebedia Loven
Bonnie Dennison as Peggy
Chance Kelly as Officer Harley
Marianne Hagan as Dr. Foley

Check out the trailer below...

Midnight Son (2011)

As part of disturbingfilms.com's Vampire Week 2012, which runs from July 22 - 28, I'll be reviewing 8 Vampire movies. Yes, that's right, EIGHT, this is my favourite sub-genre! This is the fifth film...

"They say the human body stops growing at age 25.....You're in the last stages of something"

24 year old Jacob is a security guard working the night shift, just trying to survive like anyone else. He works the night shift for a good reason as he has a skin disorder which burns his skin when in direct sun light and has suffered with this since a child.

As the days and nights go by Jacob can't seem to contain his hunger, pretty much eating every and any crap he has in the fridge and still feeling empty. After passing out at work he pays his doctor a visit, who tells Jacob that he's got all the symptoms of malnutrition even though he eats as much as he does.

In an attempt to quench the hunger he moves onto red meat, fryed with a side of the bloody juice left over in the packaging!

Realising that this gives him a bit of an extra kick, he visits a butcher shop and orders a pot of blood. Gulping down the blood he's finally feeling a little better.

In the mean time he befriends Mary, who works at a local night spot and has a bit of a coke problem. As their relationship moves forward, Jacob's need for blood gets stronger and signs of his change become more frequent and a detective visits Jacob at work asking for info on a woman that's been murdered near the building he works in.

In an attempt to find a stronger source of blood he checks the local hospital's bio hazard waste bins for left overs. He gets caught by a hospital employee, Marcus, who in return tells Jacob he can get what he needs for him. Jacob starts having flash backs that lead him to believe that he's involved with the murder and Marcus steps up with some extreme ways of getting hold of some blood.

Days and nights start to blur past, Jacob's world is turned inside out as his thirst and transformation becomes more significant and he gets deeper involved with Marcus which can only lead to no good. All this is effecting the relationship with Mary. Can he control everything that's happening around him, get the girl and get his bloodfull urges in check before it destroys him and everyone around him?!

"There's nothing worse than waking up in the middle of nowhere with half your face on fire"

After having it's premiere at the Cinequest Film Festival (March 2011) in San Jose (California), Midnight Son got a FEARnet VOD release in January 2012. Was it worth the wait? Yes, it was. This is a very slick and moody piece that is written and directed superbly. Smart, intense, and unpredictable throughout, the small cast delivers a rock solid performance in between the blood, the plot twists and a score, that all keeps you on edge.

In a sub-genre that's been polluted by the likes of Twilight and it's horde of "teenie boppers," this vampire film is refreshing and something worth watching, that genuine horror fans will enjoy! If you haven't seen it yet, you can sink your teeth into the DVD as it was released on July 17th.

Midnight Son gets 7/10

Director & Writer - Scott Leberecht

The Cast -
Zak Kilberg as Jacob
Maya Parish as Mary
Jo D. Jonz as Marcus
Arlen Escarpeta as Russell
Larry Cedar as Detective Ginslegh

Check out the trailer below...